Kissy Wissies

>beta as beta
>scanning POF
>downtown so meet local qt3.14’s in your area
>cropped tittie shot is interested in me
>”hey anon, u are really cute wanna grab a beer”
>o-okay cropped tittie lesgo
>meetup at a dive bar
>scanning the weekend crowd for cropped tittie
>a weight of unimaginable proportions falls on my shoulder with the force of a million quarter pounders
>all of my wut
>5’5 350lb planet of the planets, ham of hams
>pushes me over to a table where there’s already beer
>chug it one after the other
>bullshit chit chat cant believe what ive done
>”anon i live close by you know”
>fuk it les get some head
>walk ages to her place me ahead planet orbiting far behind me trying to catch up
>”I should make a run for it”
>”Anon I really like kissy wisseys, you are not getting any action without any kissy wisseys”
>reach place, typical planet residence, clothes everywhere, boxes of cookies and ice cream, dirty dishes
>planet is literally living in a closet, place is small as fuk smells like ass
>pull dick out and present to residing galaxy
>”i dont know anon im really a fan of kissy wissys first”
>dive right in and get my face licked sucked and eaten by something straight out of WoW
>”Oh anon you are really good at kissy wissys”
>push her giant face off of me, present dick
>hamy is inhaling my penus like a twinkie
>try finding cropped tittie, end up groping a roll of fat
>think its tittie, finish inside her mouth
>”anon fuk my ass”
>”baby u just wait till I have a smoke”
>go out for a smoke, run as fast as I can
>get calls msgs for the next 4 months
>2 years go by

pic related

>hfw pic related is her actual pic
>mfw I hear “Kissy Wissy” everytime I see her on whatsapp
>mfw i dont have a face

>have massive recall of fridges at our resort
>fat people rage because they can’t hold twinkies and chocolate pies inside their fridge
>they are given a choice
>get moved to a second or third floor with no elevators but have access to a fridge
>or stay on the first floor with no fridge at all
>mfw everytime we tell them it’s like letting them know they have cancer with 1 week to live

Fatty denial

Oh man.
>be me a few years back
>buy elliptical machine
>proceed to work out for 15 minutes
>eat a microwave lasagna cause I worked up quite an appetite
>mfw I can’t kick my past self in my past fat ass

>be at home
>just came back from morning run
>brother is looking at himself in the mirror
>”hey anon, i really should go on a diet”
>nah brah you should just exercise with me hit the gym you know
>”no… i’m too lazy. it’s too much work”
>i start getting annoyed as he tells me he wants to lose weight everyday
>”i think i should go for a run though”
>yeah good work let’s start with cardio
>”just let me grab a protein bar”
>for fucks sake
>we go for an extremely tiny run (more like walk shuffle crawl repeat)
>he gets tired and begs to go home
>we’ve walked two blocks
>”i know, but i’m so tired anon. maybe we should try tomorrow”
>i reluctantly agree
>he eats a frozen pizza with apple juice as soon as we get home
>i die inside

>in target
>shopping for protein with toddler
>complaining aloud that there is no strawberry whey to her
>nearby fatty wtih mullet and american flag-harley-snake shirt asks me “why not just put strawberry syrup in the shake”
>I stare at her for a moment, and tell her I try to minimize my sugar intake to unavoidable dietary sugars like the sugar in milk.
>tells me the sugar in strawberries is “good sugar” and walks away.

>Graduate from high school
>Trip to North America
>Go to McDonalds on highway
>Person serving the food is obese
>I cant eat because of the fat person
>Looking at greasy food disgusting.jpg
>McDonalds back home is smart and only hires fit looking people

Oh this. Living in the UK, moved in with 2 girls I hadn’t previously known (student flat) and sweet merciful Jesus, especially the one whose room was next to mine

>quite overweight, not so much that she wouldn’t get laid frequently
>smoke weed er’ry day
>never seen her eat anything raw, her concept of ‘healthy’ was a curry once a month
>was disgusted by doing dishes, usually left them out for 2-3 weeks
>frequent LOUDASFUCK music
>woke me up at 5am once singing Nickelback full-lung strength while drunk
>mfw her fake tan buttcheek imprints on the kitchen table every time she went out

I could go on, but meh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a paragon of a healthy lifestyle, but jeez. The other one was not as loud but just as messy. They were a factor in my decision to start working out and cooking for myself more often

>roomie is a chronic smoker
>teeth have a solid yellow layer, cavities…gross
>hates the “taste” of water
>drinks everything but water: vitamin water, gatorade, sodas, juices, frappacino shit, etc
>absolutely pound on the importance of water everyday
>recently told me ever since she met me she’s been drinking less soda
>tell her all the sugary drinks are just as bad and it doesn’t make too much of a difference
>she gets pissed
>she’s 5’4, 175lbs of fat…doesn’t work out EVER. Places more importance on petty things like her social life
>takes mad nude pictures and sends them to guys but crops out her disgusting mountain of fat
>absolutely grossed out by fat my roomie and friend is fat
>her rooms always dirty, has no concept of what a mop does or why leaving the stove dirty after using it is FUCKING RUDE
>crops her pictures and super edits them making her look 30lbs less
>posts them on dating websites
>brings hot guys over to “hang out”
>all give me attention and subtly flirt with me once they see me
>I work out err day 1-2hrs 5 times a week
>I’m clean, fit, qt, smart
>pry them away because they’re gross
>feel bad for my roomie when I have to shut my door just to get them off me
>she gives better BJ’s than I do
>I probably fuck better than she does because I’m flexible/fit

It must suck having no sense of self control/motivation to lose weight. Absolute confidence destroyer.