>be at amusement park
>getting on roller coaster
>everyone is seated and ready to go except this obese short fat fuck
>he cant get the harness latched down because he’s too fat
>two employees come over and try to help him
>they both start pressing down as hard as they can
>they start putting their whole body weight into it
>it’s no use
>people are giggling
>fat ass has to get off the coaster and wait at the side for his family to finish riding

>everyone is giggling like pic related

> Have fat roommate
> Roommate is NYRfag, decides to get /fit
> I am happy to encourage him in any way, but trying not to be overbearing either
> 12th of January
> Was there when he got LA fitness membership
> Still hasn’t run, lifted, done any pushups or even gone to gym
> See him eating ice cream
> Ask, “Didn’t you say you would go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday to start?”
> “Not going today, if there’s traffic I might only be there for an hour.”
> Has no work that day
> Has no classwork
> Watches cartoons and eats ice cream all evening

>In dairy aisle at A&P
>two children, can’t be older than 12 or less then 200 pounds run around corner
>girl child in belly shirt grabs a roll of cookie dough
>average weight female caretaker (maybe mom) tells her to put it back up on shelf
>fat girl child starts crying

Later

>fat boy child runs around corner, being a kid
>starts huffing and puffing saying his chest hurts
>female-care-giver person says “See, that’s why you don’t run”

>Work at Disney
>Slow day
>I smell something
>wft is that smell?
>wtf died?
>a gigantor walks around the corner
>Sweaty,British woman
>Shirt soaked in sweat
>Huffing and puffing herself to the exit
>exit is only 30 some odd steps downhill
>she stops and I hear her groan “where do i get my picture?”
>HOLY SHIT
>Walks up to me
>rests her arms on the counter
>Pits be dripping
>doesnt remember photo number so I have to look her up, takes longer
>Start breathing through my mouth
>I can taste it, her smell and her breath
>I cough…fuck it
>I get a clean rag and hold it over my face.
>I tell her I have a bloody nose and need to leave.
>ALPHA AS FUARK

>live in houston, texas
>go to houston community college for cheaper 2 year
>fat girls in every class
>fat girls in lobbies eating shit like kfc every day
>every woman professor is fat

>going to shop at Publix (Florida grocery chain like Safeway)
>thinking bout dem chicken breasts, spinach, oatz, etc.
>suddenly…
>a landplanet and her orbiting beefmoon offspring slowly hurdle through the entrance
>trying to grab a shopping cart but they’re in the way
>say “excuse me” while reaching for a cart
>beefmoon listens and waddles away
>regardless of landplanet’s tilt axis, cannot pull a cart out due to her spherical symmetry
>landplanet grunts in anger
>give her the evil eye and walk away

Later…

>ready to check out, get in line
>7/10 girl with cerebral palsy (like Walt Jr. style) in front of me
>also notice landplanet is in front of her and now in scootermode
>beefmoon still in orbit and pushing a cart filled with junk
>you could cut the tension in the room with a knife
>the planetary system finishes transaction, and load their shit into cart
>7/10 only had a couple purchases so she finished quick
>bagboybro asks if she needs help out to her car
>she hesitates but finally says yes
>as they walk off, scooterplanet begins to rage
>yelling shit like WE WERE HERE FIRST/WE HAVE MORE STUFF/etc.
>after a good minute, gives up and leaves the store
>cashier and I look at each other and nod

Sometimes, there’s justice in this world…

>about to start 4hr drive back home for break
>stop at gas station for fuel and something to drink
>fat as fatass weaving through cars in her scooter
>screams at me to hold the door for her
>scooter slowly creeps up 0.1% grade handicap curb
>surges forward at the top, through the door
>immediately slams into magazine rack
>yells at cashier because she can’t see lotto scratchers from scooter
>eventually buys random cigs and random scratchers
>slams into Rockstar cooler on the way out the door

I could see the Islamic rage rising in the poor cashier’s eyes, and I would have joined his fat slaying crusade.

americans fucking fail at this. Here’s how things are in glorious nippon

>At sushi bar with girlfriend (live in Nara Prefecture)
>Fat as fatass landwhale walks in
>Owner tells her to get out because “we don’t serve American food” in engrish
>She starts screaming about how she has the right to eat anywhere
>Several employees tell her to get out and go to push her out
>She gets on the ground and will not move
>I’m smothering my laughter in my hands, girlfriend pissed at me for laughing
>Owner goes outside, comes back in with several men and they drag her outside
>I’m now busting up laughing
Half an hour later she was still outside shouting. Some guy yelled “WHITE-U PIGGU GO HOME” Fat people make for good entertainment during dinner.

Oh boy here we go.jpg

Here’s another Fatfuckusingagoddamnscooterbecausetheyaresofuckingfat story

Anyways…
>Be working at Wal-Mart last year
>Was a “strategic stocker”
>Just stocked the food aisles lol
>Minding my own business, stocking away when OHSHITTINGDICKNIPPLES
>ITS… ITS HIDEOUS
>Out of no where a black ambulocetus appears on what seems to be… an invisible scooter because her fat covers ALL OF IT.
>Enters aisle…
>Me: oh jesus, this is gonna be good
>Ambulocetus: OH LAWDY OUT THE WAY I HAVE SODA TO GET I NEEDS IT TO FEED MY BABY HUUURR

At this point… I shit you not… she runs into the left and right side of the aisles because her fat is blocking the steering shifter thing. She’s knocking everything down and just keeps going. EVERYONE is staring at her.

>Ambulocetus: BOY (she called me boy… god. damnit).
>Me: Yes, ma’am?
>THESE AISLES ARE WAY TOO SMALL AND THESE SCOOTERS NEED TO BE REMODELLED TO FIT ACTUAL BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
>lol my way into the back for an hour break because fuck Wal-Mart.
>mfw she got thrown out because she hit like 2 children
>in a way… she was alfafa as fuck…

>work in retail
>2 hamcetus’ walks in
>browsing for pants
>asks me if we have anything bigger than XXL
>tell her nope
>she says, “Ok, I’ll just go try these on instead.” referring to XXL
>she comes out and asks her friend how it looks
>can see fat drooping down from what appears to be a shirt
>co workers are bertstaring at hamcetus
>as I walk by them yell out “Flabtastic!”
>next day get “the talk” with manager then fired

feelsbad that I got fired but worth it